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LGB & T Services

COMING OUTComing Out

“Coming out” is what people call the process of telling people about your sexuality, at some point most LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans) people do this.
It is your choice if, where, when, who, and how you do this!

The first time is hard to do, but you get more used to saying the words the more you do it, remember that every time you come out it should be your choice.

If:
• Make sure your sorted about your sexuality before you tell anyone.
• Be happy with yourself, love who you are – your fab!
• Practice what you’re going to say.
• Wait until you feel OK about it all.
• Many people test their families and friends first – there are lots of LGBT people on the television and in magazines – some people use them to test people’s reactions first.

Where:
• Do it somewhere safe.
• Make sure you have somewhere else to stay in case of a bad reaction.
• Don’t do it at a big family occasion, allow your family time to deal with it. You will have had time to get used to it, allow them time too!

When:
• Do it when you’re ready!
• Don’t feel pressured
• Think about where to do it, it is not a good idea to stand up in the middle of Christmas dinner and say “can u pass the sprouts, by the way I am gay”.
• Don’t come out in an argument.

Who:
• Tell someone you feel close to.
• Tell someone you trust.
• If people start to gossip and you think it’s going to get back to your family, it’s probably best to tell them first, but only if you feel safe.

How:
• Do it in a way that’s right for you.
• If u can’t do it face to face (which is probably best), then you could send a text, email, letter, or record a voice message.
• Make sure you have support in place if the person you’re telling doesn’t react positively. You might need a hug!

Coming out can be hard but you should remember that all your doing is telling people about who you are.
If you’re in doubt as to if you should come out or ways to do it then contact your local gay project for advice and support (See the Young People & Bullying section on this website for links).