MESMAC North-East recognises that gay and bisexual men can be victims and survivors of male rape, domestic violence, and childhood sexual abuse, and that help is either limited or non-existent.
This page tells you what we can offer. It includes information and advice about rape, sexual abuse, and partner violence. You don't have to be experiencing violence or abuse right now to get support. Often, men wait years before feeling able to seek help. There are no set rules – the most important thing is that you feel ready.
All our services are confidential and free. Workers won't give any information about you to your partner, family, or friends. You can be reassured that you won't be judged or made to feel responsible for abuse or violence which has happened to you. You can proceed at your own pace, and you won't be pressurised into making decisions you don't feel comfortable with.
Our aim is to combine a safe space, where you can talk through your experiences and feelings, with practical advice and continued support.
When you've read this, you'll have taken an important first step.
The next step is up to you.
Male Rape & Sexual Assault
Rape and sexual assault can happen to anyone, including men.
Rape is a sexual assault involving the forced penetration of the anus by a penis.
A sexual assault is when someone touches any parts of your body in a sexual way, when you don't want it. It can also be the forced penetration of the mouth by a penis, or anal penetration with an object. Sexual assault includes situations where you can't say 'no' because you're drunk, high, or unconscious.
Rape and sexual assault aren't sex; they're violent and abusive crimes. Like other forms of violence, they're used to exert power and control over another person.
Gay and bisexual men can be sexually assaulted by strangers, partners, family members, or people they know and trust.
Although male sexual assault remains under-reported, incidences of rape and sexual assault are regularly disclosed by men accessing counselling at MESMAC.
These men often feel that the sexual assault or rape happened because they're gay or bisexual. It's got nothing to do with that. Rape and sexual assault are about violence and power. And the attacker can be gay, bisexual, or straight.
Being raped or sexually assaulted is a traumatic experience. Men are left with many different feelings about the assault, but there are some common responses:
Physical symptoms can include loss of memory or concentration; loss of appetite; disrupted sleep patterns; head and stomach pains.
Psychological symptoms can include mood swings; flashbacks to the assault; denial; humiliation; depression; loss of self respect; anger; anxiety; guilt; nervous or compulsive habits; change in sexual activity; withdrawal from relationships and support networks.
What you can do about it
Try to talk to someone about the assault. Counselling is one way to get some control over your life after an assault. Talking things through with a counsellor can help you with both the emotional and physical reactions. A counsellor can give you support in looking at your feelings, and also if you want to tell your partner, friends, or family.
If the assault has just happened, it's important to seek medical attention. Although you may feel embarrassed about the incident or your injuries, try not to be. Even small injuries may become serious, so it's best to go for a check-up, either to a Hospital Accident & Emergency Department, REACH (see contact numbers below), or your local Sexual Health Clinic.
If you're concerned that you might have been infected with HIV, or another sexually transmitted infection, talk to these people or a worker at MESMAC about the possibility of a check-up and/or HIV testing.
Male rape and sexual assault are serious crimes. If you feel able, do report it to the Police. They will take it very seriously, and many officers have now had training to help them deal sensitively and respectfully with these issues. Workers from MESMAC will do their best to support you in your contact with the Police.
REFERRAL AGENCIES FOR SEXUAL ABUSE AND RAPE
TYNE & WEAR
REACH
Offers services to men who've been raped or sexually assaulted, and is based in Newcastle and Sunderland.
Newcastle:0191 221 9222
Sunderland: 0191 565 3725
Website: www.reachsarc.org.uk
LISTENING POST
This is not a specific service for sexual abuse survivors but can be accessed by men wanting to talk about abuse issues. A drop-in service operates on the above times but if face to face counselling is wanted an appointment can be made. Appointments available Monday/Wednesday between 1pm – 5pm & Thursday 12 – 2pm.
Tel: 0191 232 1692 Monday – Saturday 12 midday -3pm (3 listeners on duty each day).
RAPE CRISIS TYNESIDE & NORTHUMBERLAND
Helpline available Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday 6pm-8:30pm and Friday 11am-2pm.
Tel: 0800 035 2794
Email:
Website: www.rctn.org.uk
Please be aware that the services provided by Rape Crisis are for women and girls.
STREETWISE
Are able to see young men up to 26 years of age. Ring for an appointment.
Call: 0191 230 5400
Website: www.streetwisenorth.org.uk
TEESSIDE
ARCH NORT EAST (Formerly JIGSAW)
Service for adult male survivors of rape or sexual abuse, and their partners and family. One to one counselling available. Teesside area only. Helpline Tues 12-2pm.
Call: 01642 822331 24hr answerphone outside helpline times.
Website: www.archnortheast.org
HARBOUR ADULT OUTREACH – HARTLEPOOL, STOCKTON, COUNTY DURHAM & DARLINGTON
The Adult Outreach Service provides telephone, one to one, and group support for men and women who have or are living with domestic abuse.
Contact Harbour:
Call: 03000 20 25 25 or text 'HARBOUR' with your message to 60777
Email
NATIONAL
The following contacts also offer support and advice services to men who have been sexually assaulted or raped.
SAMARITANS
Samaritans: 0345 909090
BROKEN RAINBOW
Helpline for LGBT people experiencing domestic violence. 0300 999 5428 Call: Monday 2-8pm, Wednesday 10-1pm, Thursday 2-8pm.
Website: www.brokenrainbow.org.uk
THE MENS ADVICE LINE
Helpline that provides a range of services aimed primarily at men experiencing Domestic Abuse from their partner.
Call: 0808 801 0327
www.mensadviceline.org.uk
THE MANKIND INITIATIVE
Supports male victims of Domestic Violence, though they help all callers regardless of sex, race or sexual orientation.
Call: 0870 794 4124 at any time to recieve up to date information on helpline availability or check out services at www.mankind.org.uk
There is also a referal system for single men or men with children fleeing from Domestic Violence and needing a safe refuge.
DRUG RAPE
If you think you may have been drugged and then sexually assaulted, you can get more information and support from MESMAC.
